Operation Babysitter
by Hannah Longbottom
Summary: Desperate times call for depserate measures when Harry and Ginny begin their search for a babysitter. They eventually find one, and seem to have no choice to give in to her...err..interesting choices of babysitting methods...


_Hey guys! Told you I'd be back! Now, before you get all excited and tell me to update quickly, this is a one-off! A ONE OFF! Hope that's OK, and I hope you guys like it! Slightly random I know, but I just thought of it and decided to write it! Please R&R! Hope you like it!  
Love,  
HL.  
xxx_

* * *

"Harry! Listen to me!"

"Huh?"

Harry and Ginny Potter were sitting in their kitchen, doing the deal they had sealed as soon as Albus had been born. One baby each, at all times. Ginny was sitting down with James on her lap, bouncing him gently and shaking a rattle, trying to get him to stop crying. Harry, on the other hand, was sitting perfectly relaxed, balancing Albus in his right arm hook and reading _The Daily Prophet_, which was propped up against the milk jug.

"Did you hear anything I just said?" Ginny asked, impatiently.

"Yeah, of course I did," Harry lied. "Something about a hair appointment."

"No," Ginny said, through gritted teeth. "I said that we just got an owl from Lavender and Seamus saying that they're inviting us to a dinner party tonight."

"Oh," Harry said, slightly surprised at this random news. "Just us?"

"Well, she said she invited four other people, but she didn't mention who. She said that she invited all of us the reason being that she hadn't talked to any of us in a long time, due to babies and whatnot. So, I assume that the other four are people that she hasn't spoken to in a while."

"Ah," Harry said. "OK then." There was a silence. He didn't really know what to say next. "Good?" he tried.

"Harry!" Ginny said, impatiently. "What are we going to do with the boys?"

"Oh," he replied, getting the point now. "I suppose we should leave them with a babysitter."

"Harry, listen to yourself! Who in Merlin's name would babysit James by choice?"

"Valid point," Harry said, folding up the newspaper and putting it down on the table. "Well, we don't exactly have a choice."

"OK, I suppose we have to find someone."

"So, where is the dinner party?"

"Paris," Ginny replied, and when Harry looked surprised and confused, she added: "It's Lavender, Harry!"

"Again," Harry said, nodding agreeably. "Valid point."

"OK," Ginnny sighed, trying with all her might to get her eldest son to stop crying. It was so unfair. Albus was a four month old baby and James was one year old. _Harry _should be having the harder job, not her! But, unfortunately, it was her that had the difficult job. James just _wouldn't stop crying! _Harry sighed and gave his wand a wave. A light brown, slightly chewed up teddy bear flew into the kitchen and landed on the table.

"Try giving him that," Harry suggested. As soon as Ginny did so, his crying ceased abruptly to be replaced with giggling.

"That is _so unfair!_" Ginny insisted. "If you know how to calm him down so much, why don't we swap?"

"No way!" Harry argued. "Albus is the easiest one!"

"Fine!" Ginny said, disgruntled. "Anyway, we need to figure out what we're going to do with the boys. We need to go around looking for someone willing to babysit."

"Ginny, face it. No one is going to want to give up a Saturday night to babysit two boys."

"Well, we're going to have to try!" she squealed. "We will Apparate across the world with these two if we have to, Harry! I am finding a babysitter!"

"Errm," Harry said, reluctantly. He was never very eager to contradict Ginny when she was in this mood, but sometimes he had to draw the line. "I don't think that's very good for the babies, Gin."

"So who made you in charge of the law?" Ginny argued, angrily. And stupidly.

"Errr, the minister?"

"Oh. Yeah. Well, is it actually against the law?"

"Well, no. But still-"

"Then we're doing it."

"Ginny-"

"Harry. We are doing it."

Harry stopped dead. He always did give up when it came to Ginny using "That Tone". But nevertheless, he couldn't help feeling a bit confused.

"Ginny, what's the deal? I mean, you don't even like dinner parties that much. Why are you so eager to go to one all of a sudden?"

"Because," Ginny muttered. "I really want to go to Paris! The dinner party is in a private room on the Eiffel Tower. Doesn't that sound nice to you? And we hardly ever go out anymore because of the boys."

Harry sighed, and bounced Albus on his knee gently. "OK," he agreed. "We'd better start looking for a babysitter."

"Yes!" Ginny said, putting James down on the ground briefly to go and kiss her husband. "I love you!"

"I know."

"Yes! Operation Babysitter is go!"

"OK, we can do it as long as you promise not to call it that!"

"Fine," Ginny agreed, as she let Harry go upstairs and change. Then, when he returned she grabbed James again, he took Albus out of his highchair and the four of them Disapparated.

Almost instantly, they appeared in a street filled with shops and restaurants.

"Where are we?" Harry asked.

"Remember Ron and Hermione's babysitter? Claire something."

"Martin," Harry answered.

"Yeah, her. Well, Hermione's always going on about how amazing she is, so I decided we should give her a try."

"OK. But later, if Hermione finds out that we stole her babysitter, I had nothing to do with it."

They arrived at a block of flats and when they got to No. 8, Ginny rapped on the door with the brass, lion door knocker fixed there. A small woman with long, dark brown hair answered the door. She smiled when she saw them and Ginny and Harry immediately felt safe at the sight of her. They could hear the wireless radio in the background.

"Hi!" Ginny smiled. "You don't know us, but we're friends of Ron and Hermione Weasley. They have a little girl and boy, Hugo and Rose."

"Ah yes!" Claire answered, with a voice as light and friendly as her appearance. "Hermione mentioned the Potters! Come in!"

"Oh, thanks!" Ginny said, and Harry gave a grateful smile and they walked into the flat. It smelt of flour and a sweet smelling perfume.

"So," Ginny said, letting James slack a little in her arms. "We're very sorry to come here unannounced and spring this on you, but my husband and I kind of have somewhere to go on short notice. So, I was wondering if you could possibly babysit for our two boys. This is James, and that's Albus that Harry's holding. I can assure you, they are very good little boys."

She crossed her fingers as she said this.

"It's perfectly alright, Mrs Potter. I'd be happy to babysit your sons."

"Oh, thank goodness!" Ginny sighed. "OK, they are perfectly fine and well-behaved, I can assure you-"

Suddenly, as if on cue, there came a great smash, coming from what appeared to be her kitchen. Ginny looked down, and realize that she's let James jump from her amrs and he had evidently run into the kitchen.

"Oh no," she breathed. "Oh my goodness, Miss Martin, I am so sorry!"

"It's perfectly fine," Claire replied, pulling out her wand to repair whatever damage James had caused. "This is just part of the mischief of children, especially boys. You know what, I'll get him."

"Oh, thank you!" Ginny said, breathing a sigh of relief as Claire rushed to the kitchen. "Phew!" she said to Harry.

"I know!" Harry said. "I can't believe you actually said the words, 'He's very well-behaved'!"

"Oh, shut up! I had to do something to sell it!"

"Well, it seems to have worked. She looks like she's about to babysit them."

Suddenly, there was a loud _crack_, and Ron and Hermione materialized right there in front of them, Ron holding Rose and Hermione holding Hugo, this married couple also looking like they were dressed for a dinner party.

"Claire, I'm so _so _sorry, I know this is completely spur of the moment and unplanned but...oh." Hermione stopped in mid-sentence when she saw Ginny and Harry standing there with Albus.

"You're not Claire," she finished, stupidly.

"Yeah," Ginny started, ignoring Harry's mutterings of "Uh-oh". "We kind of...I mean.."

Realization suddenly dawned on Hermione's face.

"Oh," she said, drawing breath. "You are-you are _not _stealing my babysitter, Ginny Potter."

"Hermione, don't be ridiculous!" Ginny scoffed. "I'm not _stealing _her! I just need her for one night, Lavender invited us to go to a dinner party!"

"I know!" Hermione said, rocking Hugo, who had started to sniffle a little. "We're going to! That's why we're here!"

"Oh, come on Hermione! What is the big deal? So, I borrow your babysitter for one night. So what? We did get here first!"

"I can't even begin to explain everything wrong with that sentence!" Hermione exclaimed. Ron and Harry had both started to feel uncomfortable, and had simultaneously stepped backwards, holding their children.

"Please Hermione!" Ginny begged. "Nobody will babysit James!"

"You're right, they won't! And that includes Claire! I'm sorry, but you'll have to find someone else."

"Or maybe you will," Ginny pointed out. "Because when she comes back down here with James, we're going to pay her and go!"

Hermione gasped. "You wouldn't!"

"Watch me," Ginny threatened.

A minute later, Claire came back, hand in hand with James, and she looked very surprised to see Ron and Hermione.

"Oh," she said. "Hermione, Ron. Hi! What are you doing here?"

"Well," Hermione said, her hostile look evaporating. "We know it's short notice and we are sorry, but we were hoping for a babysitter tonight."

"Oh," Claire said, again. "I am so sorry Hermione, but I just told your friends that I'd babysit for them."

Just as Hermione was about to explain the reasons why Claire shouldn't spend her free time babysitting for the ultimate Mischief Infant, James himself gave a reason without either him, Hermione or anyone else for that matter having to say one word. Another smash was heard, but from further away this time. The smash wasn't as loud as the first one, but yet so much more terrible.

* * *

"When do I get to say I told you so," Harry asked, as he and Albus followed Ginny stomping out of the building with James in tow.

"When you want a broken nose," Ginny replied, seething.

"OK, I'm sorry," Harry replied, defensively. "But I _did _warn you."

"Well, how was I supposed to know?" Ginny retorted, angrily. "How was I supposed to know that James would go into her bedroom and smash the vase that had belonged to her late great-grandmother?"

"Because it's James," Harry answered. "He does everything wrong. Well, we can guarantee that we can't go back to her anymore."

"I don't even know why she freaked out so much!" Ginny complained. "She's a witch! She repared it in about a second! Why did she get so annoyed?"

"Because, as she said. It's nota fact of repairing it, it's the fact that he broke such a special item in the first place."

"Freak," Ginny muttered. "Well, I'm actually quite glad she's not babysitting. Not enough character. Hermione's welcome to her. We'll find someone better."

But, of course, Ginny and Harry didn't know or hear of any other babysitters. They tried people they knew, but people were either busy, not home, or had too many children of their own to manage two more. Well, James counted as four, so five. Mr and Mrs Weasley were still in Portugal on holiday, Andromeda had a few of Teddy's boisterous friends as well as Teddy himself, who was trying enough on his own, to look after at their house and George was at work where Alicia and their twins, Fred and Daphne, were visiting him. Usually, the ideal babysitting candidate would've been Lavender. She was fun, responsible enough, good with children and she had a knack for calming them all down. But, of course, Lavender was the whole reason _they _needed a babysitter, and she would be otherwise occupied.

"What about Bill and Fleur?" Ginny asked.

"No, they're in Romania visiting Charlie and Miriam, remember? And no, we are not dropping them off in Romania for a night?"

"Why not?" Ginny asked, disgruntled. "We're in Paris for a night, if we can find a babysitter."

They tried a few more of their friends and relatives, but they all made excuses just because, of course, they knew what James was like and didn't want to devote an evening to chasing after James.

"What about Dean and Luna?" Ginny asked.

"Dean's in Somerset for a work thing," Harry reminded her.

"Yeah, but Luna's still there," Ginny pointed out. Harry gave her a disbelieving look.

"Ginny," he said, slowly and rationally. "You want to leave our sons...with Luna?"

"Yeah," Ginny replied. "I know she's mad, but what do you think she'll do? Drop them and throw them down the stairs for an experiment? Harry, she's not daft. She's got two daughters of her own, you know."

"Yeah," Harry agreed. "There's another reason not to ask her! She's got two children of her own. We can't just dump two more on her while we go out to a dinner party."

"Harry, she's got a one year old, who laughs and plays with stars and string all day and a baby who just stares at the ceiling. Neither of them do little else. Trust me, it'll be as if she's only looking after two boys and a couple of dolls. In fact, Albus hardly qualifies as babysitting, so it'll really only be James."

"Who's worth about three eight year old boys."

"Luna will be able to handle it. Come on, Harry. Let's do it. Please! What choice do we have? There's no one left to ask."

"This dinner party is Lavender's. So Luna will probably be going too."

"No harm in asking."

"Fine," Harry shrugged reluctantly, and they Apparated into the living room of Luna and Dean's cottage. No one was in there, but there was a large television showing a blonde girl talking to a girl with long, blonde hair on the big screen.

"I still get so fascinated by these things," Ginny said in fascination, walking over to the TV and running her hands over the buttons. Luna came into the living room with her second daughter, Hazel, in one hand, a bottle in her other and Poppy walking alongside them.

"Hi," she said, in her serene, dreamy voice.

Ginny jumped and turned around again when she heard the voice.

"Hi!" she said, smiling widely. "Hi Luna! Sorry to bother you on a Saturday night!"

"It's alright," she replied, calmly. "I was just looking for some Chinese menus."

"When did you and Dean get a TV?" Harry asked.

"Oh," Luna said, eyeing the magnificent 46-inch plasma. "Yes, it's nice, sin't it? Dean said that because he grew up in the Muggle world, he'd really like to get some form of Muggle entertaimnent in the house. I suggested one of those radio thingies, but Dean said he'd want a TV. So, we decided on a TV. He was so hooked on it, he even got the whole video, DVD player, Sky+ digibox deal."

"Yeah," Harry started, walking towards the television set and looking at the back of it. "But it has to run on electricity and stuff."

"Yeah, Dean hired an electrician."

"A what?" Ginny asked.

"A Muggle worker who sorts out electricity," Harry explained. "But Luna, does it work with all the magic in the air?"

"Well, because there's only two of us, it doesn't make that much of a difference."

"Wow, that's cool!" Harry replied.

"Anyway," Ginny said, while she get a word in edgeways. "Luna, we're really sorry but we have to ask you a question. Oh, are you going to Lavender's?"

"No," Luna replied. "She invited me, but Dean's not here and I couldn't find a babysitter on such short notice. So, it's just me, Hazel and Ella tonight."

"Well, how would you feel about James and Albus joining you three?" Ginny answered.

"Oh," Luna said, solemnly. "Wow, Ginny that's really flattering, but Dean and I just had a baby a few months ago. Now, I love children, but I really don't think I can adopt your sons. I mean, I'd probably feel the same thing after more than a year with James, but if you just give it a bit more time-"

"No Luna!" Ginny interrupted, laughing slightly. "We're not asking you to adopt our children! We just wanted to ask if you could babysit them for tonight while we go to Lavender's. Please? Harry can set you up with full house security for a week!"

"Ginny!" Harry exclaimed.

"He has gadgets!" Ginny added.

"It's OK. I'll do it," Luna said.

"You will?" Ginny asked, disbelieivingly. "Oh, Luna I love you! You are my star!"

Ginny grinned and gave Luna a big hug.

"OK, Luna just a couple of things to remember if you want to, you know, live. Well, Albus is fine, James. well, you have long hair so, you especially, watchout because he likes to grab people's hair and be careful with any food you give him. We haven't given him any proper food though, so we just feed him baby food or porridge and stuff like that, but be careful not to anger him, because that's when he starts the throwing."

"Way to sell it, Gin," Harry muttered.

"OK," Luna said. "Sounds doable to me. Now give me those boys and you two go have fun!"

"Cool!" Ginny said, handing Albus over and looking at James who was already playing with Poppy in the corner. "So, looks like Operation Babysitter has been successfully completed!"

"Ginny, what did I say?" Harry said, sighing. "You promised not to call it that!"

She laughed, as the two of them Disapparated. As soon as they did, Albus started crying.

"Oh, don't worry," Luna said, rocking him gently. "Mummy and Daddy will be back soon. It's OK, they've only gone to Paris."

She got out her wand, pointed it at a nearby rattle and it flew over to them and rattled in the airabove Albus's head. He immediately stopped crying and started smiling, his eyes widening.

"There we go," she said, carrying Hazel in one arm and Albus in the other and walking over to Poppy and James, who were playing with a few building blocks. Luna sat down beside them, putting the babies inbetween her legs and leaning them up against her legs.

"Now, do you two want to watch Gossip Girl with me?"

They spent about an hour watching TV and James started yelling, throwing dolls, and Ginny was right, he did like to grab it. But, nothing more than Ginny could handle. She left Hazel in the highchair in the kitchen, and clutched Albus to her waist. She rootled in her drawers and found an old copy of _The Quibbler _and one of the old _Cedric Rules/Potter Stinks _badges that one of the Slytherins had thorwn at her during the second task of the Triwizard Tournament.

"Better than nothing," Luna muttered, grabbing the magazine and the badge and went back to the living room.

* * *

Two and a half hours later, Ginny and Harry Apparated back into Luna's living room. All four children were asleep, James and Poppy in the bean bag chairs in front of the TV, Hazel in the bassinet and Albus in her lap.

"Wow," Ginny said, in awe. "How did you _do _that? They're asleep, and you're alive! And you still have all your hair! Now you're my shooting star, Luna!"

"Thanks, but it really was easy. I just gave James one of those old _Cedric Rules/Potter Stinks _badges to play with, I read them some of _The Quibbler_ and then they watched some kids programme called The Tweenies, and after that they were fast asleep."

"Wow!" Ginny said, again.

"You gave him one of those badges?" Harry said, pointing at the round badge now flashing Potter Stinks.

"Hey, I got your son to go to sleep, didn't I?" Luna said, as a safety net.

So, Ginny went over to James and lifted him, not really intending to wake him but he did so anyway.

"Hi sweetie!" she said. "We're back! We're going to go home now, OK?"

"Snor-kak!" James yelled, delightedly.

Ginny and Harry stopped dead.

"What?" Harry asked.

"Did he just say his first word?" Ginny asked. James answered her by repeating the word over and over again.

"What's he saying?" Harry asked.

"I think he's saying...snorcack! Oh my God! Crumple-Horned Snorcack! Luna!"

"Oh yeah," Luna said, reminiscing. "There might have been a piece on the Crumple-Horned Snorcack in _The Quibbler_."

"Well," Harry said. "You just got him to say his first word so, thanks, I guess."

"Snor-kak!" James shouted again. Harry and Ginny laughed, thanked Luna about seven more times, then immediately after Harry took a sleeping Albus from her arms, they Disapparated.

They materialized in their kitchen at Grimmauld Place. As Ginny put the boys to bed, Harry poured himself a glass of water and sat down. Moments later, Ginny appeared.

"Well, they're both asleep," she said, a tone of triumph etched all over her tone. "First time I ever got James to sleep with ease."

"I know," Harry said, thinking about Luna's interesting methods of babysitting. "Who would've thought that Luna would turn out to be our best babysitter?"

"I know," Ginny agreed. !Ha! Now _we _have the best babysitter! I mean she must be, to be able to calm down James! I am so going to rub it in Hermione's face!" Harry laughed.

"So," he said. "It looks like Operation Babysitter was a huge success after all."

"I thought you didn't like calling it that?" Ginny pointed out.

"I guess it's not so bad after all," Harry decided, with a grin.


End file.
